Inn.....terview

June 5th, just 12 days to prepare and practice for the interview at the Inn. I am a little bit nervous all ready. A friend of mine offered to do a practice interview with me before hand. I am forever grateful for her encouragement and cheering me on. I have so many ideas about why and how I can be a valuable asset to this Inn, I just need to organize it all into a nice little presentation for her. I am not sure what positions she is hiring for, my friend said maybe she wants me to tell her what position I would create for me. Iget excited the more I think about the possibility of changing my profession! What is in my head about what I would like to do at the Inn sounds so much fun. I know that jobs are not always supposed to be "fun", but I truely believe that you should at least enjoy what you do. I do not enjoy what I do anymore. My boss will be frustrated and hurt by my leaving if I get the job. I am working on a project for him right now that I will finish up before I go. He wanted me to be the front person on plunging into reverse mortgages for seniors. I guess if I don't get the job at the Inn or it doesn't pay enough, then I will do the reverse mortgage stuff. I will submit to whatever God has planned for me, I am just trying not to kick and scream too much in the process....change my heart Lord!

Learning......

Creating my own opportunities vs. God opportunities. Deep down I want to take God opportunities, here on the flesh level I wanna create my own. I succumb to the thought that my plans are sooooo much better than His. There is no excuse for it, it IS my flesh and I struggle to make my flesh obey. It is like a tug of war with God where I get pulled into the mud EVERY single time!

How long Lord before I learn to just give you the rope???

Our beloved Bailey....gone.

On May 19th, about 30 miles from Michael's house, we got news that Bailey had been struck by a car. While we drove we prayed and hoped that Tim's dad could get him to the vet in time. They only made it about 3 minutes from our house before he passed. We buried him today, with honor and with love. He was a great little dog, we have had him since he was 8weeks old. He moved here with us from Ohio. He slept in my bed when Tim was gone. He hated it when Tim fired a gun, shook like a leaf every time and tried to hide behind me. He was gentle and kind with Stormy, they were like an old married couple. He would lick her eyes and ears clean and lay close to her when they were together. He loved dog buscuits and any human food, even chocolate. Chesiney took it hard. He was, in her mind, very much her dog. He will be greatly missed by all of us. We love you Bailey, you will always be a part of our family! Enjoy being with Jesus! 

Off to see Michael

Well, we are heading down to see Michael while he is home from Iraq for a short time. It will be good for me to wrap my arms around him and hug him. Have a bunch of goodies for the baby, looking forward to sitting for Michael and Jamie while they go spend some alone time together in Nashville!

Not that anyone wants to know this but I am suffering from some heart burn or acid reflux today. The description of heart burn seems to go right along with how I am feeling spiritually right now. Man do I REALLY need to spend some time with the Father.

Road Trip

We are back...Ashley and I. I flew out to Arizona, then drove back with Ashley. We had so much fun! Were able to re-connect as Mom and daughter and as friends. We got to stop at Ft. Sill and see Steven. He looks good and is doing fine. Out of all of my children I struggle letting him go the most. With every fiber of my being I have to fight the urge to "Mother" him. He still just seems so vulnerable. God is making him a man though. The Army thinks they are doing it but I know better. I praise God each moment for the gift of all my children and am fully blessed to know that they are all in relationship with my Father! I continue to pray for every one of them to serve Him fully...God is faithful and His will in their lives will be done!

We all go down to Ft Campbell this weekend to see Michael, Jamie and Ashlyn as Michael is home for a couple of weeks from Iraq. All that is except Kyrie. She is going to IHOP with some friends to spend some time in the prayer room. (My 17 year old...wanting to spend time soaking in the presence of the Almighty...can you imagine!! God you are TOO good to me!!) My heart is full and it is good!

Another part of me struggles, (I probably need to spend some good quality time soaking in the presence of I AM too.) I long for a change in my attitude towards my employment or for a door to open so I can leave. Change me O God!!!

Giving and taking away

I met this little girl when she was 1 and a half years old. She was fiesty, comical, dramatic and compassionate then; she is still all of those things and more. I have had the wonderful pleasure of raising her with her father since then and I am a little sad as I look at that picture. She and her sisters and her father came into my life and showed me that I could love again. I am fortunate that she is not all grown up yet, I still have a few more years with her. But when she goes there will be no more children in the home, except when the grandkids come to visit. Life requires growth, as much as I wanted the kids to grow up when they were little, I wish now that they could remain children; but they wont, they have to grow up. Thank you Lord for the opportunity to share my love with this young lady, make her the woman you desire her to be. I am proud to have her call me mom!

Prom festivities

So, this is Kyrie and her date, Bosje. She was happy as a lark and he was visibly smitten with her! This is one relationship I hope they work on. He is such a smart, nice and gentle young man. Tim and I totally approve! 

blast from the past

I got this email from an old friend over the weekend. It seems that the Avalon High School class of 1986 is having a reunion in June. FYI...I left that school at the end of my 8th grade year, but apparently they (I say "they" when in all actuallity it is probably just this one friend) would like to include me in the reunion. Tim and I are thinking it over about going, I need to find out if we can take the girls b/c we haven't taken a family vacation in a long time. This would be a perfect opportunity to take the girls to California.

Is it already Thursday?

I can't believe how quick this week has gone by! Chess will be home tomorrow, I keep checking the local paper's website to see the pictures, hoping to see Chesiney or Abby in one of them...have only seen Samantha and BJ.

Kyrie's first prom is just around the corner...she is so excited and hoping to get her first kiss I think! It has been fun watching and hearing from Sandi about them (Kyrie and Bosha) getting to know each other. Kyrie went over on Easter to hang with them and Sandi said they sat on the porch swing all afternoon just talking and getting to know one another, she said it was adorable! I am so glad to see Kyrie blossom like this, she thought a long time ago that she would never get over being affraid of boys because of things that have happened to her, but here she is being bold and un-affraid with Bosha! God is so good in the healing department! I am tickled pink to see her excited and happy about a boy!

The home visit for the pug adoption is this Sunday, we will be meeting Sam. I hope that it goes well.

I called the Inn yesterday, got voicemail, but left a message. I hope that i didn't sound stupid or overly pushy, I just wanted to know if they received my resume. I SO want to be out of this job that I am in. I feel like I am at the breaking point.

On this episode of Cops.....

I officially met Officer Gandy today. Gandy is his first name, can't remember what his last name is, but I have heard about him, so I knew OF him. Really nice man, doesn't even look his age! And wouldn't you know it, Tim, was in the same Army unit as Officer Gandy's brother over in Hawaii....it figures, Tim knows WAY to many people! Everywhere we go he has either gone to school with someone, was in the Army with someone or workied with some one. It's really weird, he doesn't run into these people in his home town, where her grew up or anything, he meets them in strange and far away places from where he originally knew them!

We got Chesiney off to Washington D.C. last night, no tears were shed, but lots of laughing was done. Tim and I feel that it is our responsibility to make sure we thoroughly embarass our children in front of many of their peers. We hugged her and kissed her an dmade her feel loved and missed, all the while she is turning a deeper shade of red! She takes the embarassing stuff in stride, so it is easy for us to be ourselves around her friends. Her and Abby were very excited to go, although I think Chess was a little nervous about being away from home that long.

Jamie just stopped into town on her way back to Ft Campbell. That grandbaby of mine is just the cutest! I took her outside to feel the grass on her little toes and she didn't like it very much! But she loved looking at the pretty flowers in the yard and chasing after Bailey! I wish I would have remembered to take a picture of her....but alas...I am a forgetfull Granny already! Jamie said Michael's unit announced that they would be home for good in late August....YEAH!! He will get about a month off. I told her she and Michael and the baby should come up so we could take Ashlyn to Kings Island...she will be a year old then and I think she will really enjoy Nickelodeon Splat City!

Well, that is all the news from corn country! Later!

full circle

We have a guest in our home. One that has been here before, but didn't stay long. I am glad she is here, gives me something else to focus on other than my problems and frustrations. When am I going to mature past this selfish state in which I live? I am frustrated and blue about my spiritual state. I know that I am the only one to change it, or allow God to change it.....more later, got a staff meeting to go to.

The meeting

So, I finally get to meet one of the little pugs I am interested in. Sunday the 23rd they are coming to do a home visit and they are bringing Sam. The lady that fosters him right now says that he is the sweetest little thing and that his picture on the website does him NO justice! I am excited! I hope we will get along, although I would still like to meet Danny, he si adorable in picture!

Opportunities

So, today has been a tad bit stressful. But I am managing it. Had some good news today, a friend of mine who was helping me with my resume for this new B&B opening up here had called the owner because she knows her, finally go her to call back. My friend told her about me and the owner was very excited about receiving my resume. (I sent it out today) She told my friend that she woudl call me when she got it, she hasn't hired anyone yet, so it sounds like I might have a good shot at a job. My current boss, who happens to be a friend, will most likely not be too happy that I will be leaving. I have tried other jobs, with nothing being fruitfull, I woudl really like this one to work out. It all depends on how much she is willing to pay. I have potential int he current job I am in, I just don't like working on commision. It is not a motivating factor for me. Maybe it would be if I were the only one making the $$, but I am not nor ever will be. We'll see how this goes!

Haven't heard from the pug rescue people yet. So nothing has changed there. I have not been so good at going tothe Y and working out like I should. am not eating very well either.

Church I am frustrated with, I keep praying for God's will, I keep praying about leaving the church we are in, but God doesn't seem to be moving on my schedule, huh, imagine that.

I go to Arizona the first part of May, am driving with my daughter Ashley back to the midwest. I am really looking forward to that time with her. She is 18 and ready to strick out on her own and I am praying that God will give me words to encourage her with and time to bond a little more before she is fully out on her own.

Kyrie is getting ready for her junior prom, she has a date with Sandi's older son, Bastian, (pronounced Bosha) I think she is beginning to warm up to dating. She really likes him, and I think is hoping this will go beyond the prom.

Chesiney is gearing up to go to Washington DC with her 8th grade class next week. I will miss her, but I think she is going to have fun time. I am praying for their safety!

Steven is still in BT at Ft Sill, he will be graduating in June. We all plan on going out there for his graduation. That is going to be a fun trip! I told the girls that we were going to stop at all of the weird tourist attractions between here and there, they were not too enthusiastic about that. In fact Chesieny said "Do we really ahve to stop at the biggest ball of twine?" I said yes, of course we do!

Ashlyn and Jamie are doing well, they are heading up to her mom's for easter, so am hoping they will stop by. Ashlyn is getting so big! I predict she will be walking by the time Michael comes home on his mid tour leave in May!

That is about all that is going on around here.

A poem

Roses are red,
Violet is a pug,
she is too grumpy
for us too love.

I talked to her foster parent today, he said she was downright viscious with his Greyhound, he was affraid Violet would be that way with Stormy, our Rotti. He also informed me that Henry has an application pending on him so I guess we won't get him either. He suggested Sam. So I went on the website again and took a look, sam would be OK, but I emailed the director back and said I was also interested in Danny. Which one do you think?

Sam













Danny

Danny

I also want one of these for my birthday!

The one o n the left is Violet, she is competely blind and partially deaf.
The one on the right is Henry, he has several kinds of skin infections and skin issues. His right eye is underdeveloped.

I would love to have either one of these cuties or both!

April Fool's Day

I know this day is not quite here yet, but I have always loved this day! All pranks, the funny stuff that goes on, it is just fun! Not to mention it's my birthday. I have waited all of my children's lives for them to pull a good prank on me, but they never do. I have given them permission every single year to do ANYTHING they wanna do to me, but they just don't. I am guessing this year will be no different.

Tim asked me a while back what I wanted for my birthday, I wasn't sure, but thought about it and finally decided that I wanted to see my Ashlyn. So, we are headed down to Jamie and Michael's tomorrow just for the night.

irresponsible or Godly risk

so my pastor spoke this weekend about taking risk, risk that was directed by God. He sited Matthew 25: 14-30, the Message reads like this:

14"It's also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his servants together and delegated responsibilities. 15To one he gave five thousand dollars, to another two thousand, to a third one thousand, depending on their abilities. Then he left. 16Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled his master's investment. 17The second did the same. 18But the man with the single thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master's money.
19"After a long absence, the master of those three servants came back and settled up with them. 20The one given five thousand dollars showed him how he had doubled his investment. 21His master commended him: "Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.'
22"The servant with the two thousand showed how he also had doubled his master's investment. 23His master commended him: "Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.'
24"The servant given one thousand said, "Master, I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. 25I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.'
26"The master was furious. "That's a terrible way to live! It's criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? 27The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.
28-29""Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this "play-it-safe" who won't go out on a limb. 30Throw him out into utter darkness.'

"And get rid of this "play-it-safe" who won't go out on a limb......hummm. My question after a message like that is " Do I play it safe?" Do I risk all for God's kingdom?

My pastor stood before us yesterday and tore up a $5 bill, wasted five bucks then compared the shredding of that bill to how we use our time. Do I waste the talents and time that God has given me...do i even really know what my talents and gifts are? I don't wanna be the one who buries what my Master has given me just to be "safe". Help me Jesus to take Godly risks for your kingdom.

Happiness or Holiness

Have you ever wondered why God created marriage? I used to think it was that He wanted us to be happy, but now I am not so sure. You see we (Tim and I and our Tuesday small group) are reading/exploring a book called Sacred Marriage, in which the author(can't remember his name) asserts that maybe marriage was created to make us holy. The more I read this book and then see how Tim and I handle conflict, attitudes and/or frustration in our marriage, the more I can see that God uses it more for making us holy than for our happiness.

Listening Prayer

I met with some friends of mine last week, who so graciously agreed to hlep me through this "Listening Prayer" model. They let me be the perverbial guinea pig. We had gone through this Saturday seminar/training at C-Hop a few weeks back and all felt like this was a wonderful tool to help people. So, as I mentioned a few posts back God had been stirring up some deep issues that He has wanted to take a look at and weed out and so this is how I ended up as the guinea pig!

I must just say, this is the most peaceful and wonderful way of conversing with Jesus! I have become the biggest fan of listening prayer! (Technically it is the "Theophostic" approach to inner healing. If you want a more detailed description of how that session went I would be most happy to share it. As of today I am experiencing freedom I have never known before! God is amazingly good and thourogh. I am struck by His omniprescence, the ability to be everywhere all the time, even in the past, for His time is not our time. I worship a mighty God who only desires good for me and you!

My son made the front page of CNN!

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/03/16/iraq.main/index.html


Yep, that is him....there, there in the center. What you can't see him...trust me he's there!