Saturday night

Well, it's Saturday night, I spent most of the day working on my computer at home, it worked for a while then wne thaywire on me again this evening. Those Apples are looking better and better every time my Dell with it's Windows XP crashes. If we could afford it I would just go buy a Mac. I guess I could check out ebay while I am here at work....maybe there is something out there.

Am looking forward to spending half the week with my friends. Took some vacation days, we'll see how long that lasts!!

Well, programs are done, gotta go.

Survival of the fittest!

Well I survived the youth retreat! It was a blast and the kids were good, had several ADHD kids, not mentioning any names, but they did very well! The worship was great; the weather was cold and wet; the speaker was good; but the food was the best! I have never in my life had camp food that good!! It was like eating at an Old Country Buffet at every meal. I find myself wishing that the kids had more of an encounter with God than I think they had. But then again that is just my perception of what I saw, heck, maybe they did have an awesome encounter with abba daddy and they just didn't share it with me. I can be so easily discouraged sometimes!!

The new schedule at work is great. The hours are fine, might re-arrange them a bit, but I love being back to part time. I have been getting a little scared about the financial side of the new hours, but I am learning how to trust the Father with my needs in a more REAL way. How can you learn trust if there is always a safety net under you? I am eager to go deeper and learn more about my God and walk in the light of His love and grace than I ever have been before.

See ya, have a good evening!

On the road again!

Just a quick update...taking a bunch of jr and sr high kids up to a camp in Michigan for Cloud 9. Should be a great time for all of us. I will blog when I return!

Trusting in God

Well, now we have nochoice but to trust in God! I just told my boss that I wanted to cut my hours to part time and he said great! So I am now one of the free part-time workers of the world! Yeah! I am so excited about this, I feel free to explore and pursue what God is asking of me. It leaves me with time to build relationships and spend time with my family!!!

I'm soooo excited!

Later!

Sudden changes

Chessie's v-ball tourney starts tonight. They play So. Ripley whom they stomped on last week. As the chart goes it looks as if they are the # 1 seed, but I am not sure, I don't really understand all that. Hopefully they will win and advance in the tourney. I am still amazed at Chesiney's skill at serving, she puts this spin on the ball that makes it almost impossible to return. But, hey your probably thinking that I am biased or something cuz she's my daughter...well you are right and I have that obligation to boast about her!

I am going to talk to my boss today hopefully about cutting back to part time. There really isn't that much work to do right now and the other two full time employee's are getting a little worried, so I thought that it would help them feel more at ease if I cut back to part time. I am just trying to figure out what my new hours should be before I go in there.

I think it is a good thing for the company and my family.

AVOID AOL AT ALL COSTS!!!!

Just thought I would let anyone know who reads my blog....( ok, so nobody does, but...) anyway, I had THE most rude customer service rep in the world this morning at AOL. I have had bad customer service before but nothing of this nature or volatility. This man, if you can call him that; insulted, ingnored and was just plain rude to me. I called to cancel my account because we are having computer problems at home and I am not sure when we are going to be able to fix them and rather than paying the $23.90/mo that I have been I wanted to be a smart person and cancel. Well he offered me a free external modem made specifically for AOL and I told him I wasn't interested and didn't have the time for a sales pitch because I was at work and he procceeded to tell me how stupid I would be not to take the free modem. He continued to speak at record speed about how they would send me the modem and suspend my billing until November all the while I am telling him I don't want it over and over again and then saying I want to speak to his supervisor and he IGNORED ME and then after I am practically shouting at him he tells me that I am in luck that he is a manager and that he WILL be the only one helping me. I told him that I was surprised he was talking to me that way when he was a manager and that I still wanted to speak with his supervisor and he refused to listen to me. He then insulted me again by saying that I would have to be stupid to not take what he was offering me and then rattled off my cancellation # so fast that I only got three of the numbers. Then he sent my call to one of those automated lines to listen to my options regarding cancellation.

The morale of the story.....

DON"T USE AOL FOR ANYTHING!!!

kingdom stuff is awesome!

I just love being a part of something that is much bigger than my little sphere of the world! Not for the boosting of my own ego, just to see when people live what scripture says and put feet and hands to it, it makes me wanna do a little dance! (My girls would say "No, please don't dance Mom, it's not a pretty sight!) I just read a friends blog, well maybe just an aquaintance because I have yet to meet him face to face, but anyway he wrote about how he feels about his neighborhood and as I read all I could say was "ditto" that's how I feel about Batesville. Check it out here www.kevinrains.com

God is good! People are good! I'm feeling pretty darn good about life right now!

Later!

Yeah----that's MY daughter!!

Chesiney rocked in volleyball last night against So. Ripley!! She scored THE most points serving in both games. (which by the way they won!!) I think that she is the top scorer for the season! She served 13 straight times last night in the first game alone!!

Chicken Limbo

Tried to post this yesterday, but blogger wasn't cooperating!


Yes, that is a children's game, but no, that is not what I am refering to today. I refer to this as my feeling for the day/week. The week because I think this feeling is going to perpetuate itself right on through to Friday.

I went to Michael and Jamie's on Saturday, spent the night, stayed until about 10 and then came back home. I was quite disappointed coming home, had alot of time to think and to pray. I was disappointed in several things that I saw with he and Jamie, but most of all I was disappointed in realizing that I can't force a relationship with him or Jamie, but I have to wait on them to grow up. I forget that in spite of the fact that they are married and live away from home and they are adults, that they are truely still kids. They play "house" with all of the responsibilities that go along with marriage but are in fact still very much self absorbed children. This parenting adult children gets harder and harder to figure out as time goes by, you think it would get easier, but no, it gets harder. I can see this situation repeating with Cricket and Bryan.

What saddens me the most about Michael and Jamie is not the immaturity but the realization that I now don't "know" or have a real relationship with the children that I gave birth to. This fact brings me to tears every time I think about it. Michael is probably the closest relationship I have, if you can call it a relationship.

Is it going to be like this with all of our children? I hope not...if it is this parenting thing is getting to be harder than I expected.

Later Tater!

Raspberry sherbert

Haven't posted in awhile because of the weekend and because I am studying for this test I have to take to originate loans. Kinda boring, but really good int he long run!

Just talked to Angie M. and I am excited! We are going to the Red River Gorge with them and the Hamm's and possibly the Grossman's in October. I am really looking forward to spending time with all of these guys!! The kids, the talking, the repelling, the connecting on a different level....I am so stoked about this!! We are going to have a great time!

Later!

dealing with disappointment

Disappointment is hard. I always do this to myself...build something up and then get let down. Something that someone said last week led me to believe something was going to be given to me today and it turned out to not be true. This comes during this critical time of stepping out in faith for Tim and I, that it has shook me pretty hard. Makes me wonder where my faith really lies. I thought I had a handle on this and yet it still seems to be important to me. I hate that! Womehow it snuck back into my heart. I don't wanna be ruled by this thing anymore. >Crucify that with in me Lord that makes me ugly in your sight, which I know that this thing does!<

Tim's home for good now

Tim got home from his last over the road haul this morning. He didn't realize it until he got into the terminal that this was his last, but he was still happy. We are going to the homecoming game tonight as afamily for the first time in a long time. In fact I don't think we have gone to a Batesville game yet as a family. It should be fun, Chess is in the homecoming parade and Cricket worked on the senior float, that was a shocker to me!! She usually could care less about school spirit stuff!

Got 2 go, have a good one!

Sunday is the day!

Well, Tim got some hard evidence this morning that he FINALLY starts his new job on Sunday! YEAH!! His new hours and days are going to take some getting used to. His start time would be 8pm, which is actually 7pm our time right now, which means he will have to leave at 6pm. He will get home around 5am. I won't have a problem with those hours, but i wonder how he will adapt to third shift. His days off (he finall yhas set days off!!!) will be Monday and Tuesday, with most of Wednesday. Soooooo.......we can finally start having a life together and a family life!! Well, at least when volleyball ends! He starts this Sunday, so no more long trips to Atlanta, Memphis, Chicago or anywhere else for that matter!! If I could list the pro's and cons of the job change I think they would look like this:

Pros:
Home every day
Time to spend with the girls
Home every day
Time to build relationships with others
Home every day
Time to take care of the animals
Home every day
Time to take care of the yard

Cons:
Not as much $$
Home every day
Limited intimate time with me
Home every day
Daily commute to Cincy
Home every day
Potential to not adjust to third shift
Home every day

As you can gather, I am a little apprehensive about how easy its going to be for both of us and the girls to have him home EVERY day. It's sad to say but we sorta got used to him being gone for a couple of days. It didn't mean we liked it, it just became a way of life and now we are going to have to adjust to a new way of life. Lord help us all!!

See ya!

parenting dilema

Just thought I would let everyone know that I did the unthinkable regarding my child, grades and sports...I conceeded and am letting her play volleyball tonight even though she failed ANOTHER math test this past week. Go ahead, gasp and say "What a horrible parent!" I know, I know, I caved. Wouldn't be the first, probably won't be the last! One the more strict side of letting her play...there WILL be stipulations and consequences if she fails to abide by the stipulations. Boy, what hard ass I am!

Emotional roller coaster

I was standing in line for this roller coaster called "Emotions" on Friday. It was a long line, lots of people waiting to get on. Some I don't think wanted to ride, some didn't have a clue what they were getting on, and some enthusiastically anticipated this ride. On Saturday I finally boarded the ride, buckled myself in, stowed all my loose articles and tried to think of something else. This ride started out pretty tame, just some minor ups and downs, nothing to fear. Then all of a sudden we rounded a turn and this enormous hill of anger loomed in front of me. The cars grabbed the chain on the tracks...click, click, click....and I made my asscent. I could feel the frustration, bitterness, and resentment building. As I went down the other side I unleashed my fury into the open air! I rode the coaster into Sunday which included loops, bends and hills named loneliness, confusion, sadness and hurt. The ride has finally ended this morning, but I can see that there is another roller coaster down the road just calling my name.

I hate the way I feel right now!! I am angry, hateful, frustrated and hurt. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!! I got home from a women's retreat in Brookville that I was on the prayer team for, was looking forward to going to a bbq at the Rivera's, called Tim to find out where he was and he is already there! STILL NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY I FEEL THE WAY I DO!! What is going on here God???

I hear wedding bells

I feel a little snubbed right now. Cricket informed me that her and Bryan's mom, Charolette, were going into Cincy to go to David's Bridal this evening. Three or four weeks ago I told Cricket that I would help her with anything she needed help with, all she had to do was ask. But since then I had shared with her how I was feeling about the wedding being in December, (not real happy, but she's 18 and I can't control her life), which she took as me not wanting to do ANYTHNG with her regarding her wedding. So she asked Charolette. I guess I was too forceful in my expression to her of my disappointment in the December date. Anyway she called and cancelled with Charolette to take me, it didn't really make me feel any better. She has always kept me out of the loop on this stuff because I am not an excited, happy supporter. Wish she were graduating college instead of highschool, then it would make me feel much more comfortable about her future. What I see for her and Bryan are financially hard times and possibly a couple of years living with us! :(

Oh, well, I have two bright spots in my day today, one actually happened yesterday; a pesky loan finally closed! One that had been haunting me in my nightmares for the past 3 weeks.
The other, I might get the opportunity to take Justin and Abby with Cricket and I tonight! I just love spending time with them! They are the cutest little stinkers!

Gotta get back to work, later!

As Homer Simpson would say "DOH!"

Have you ever gone through something so terrible and towards the end it finally dawns on you that maybe, just maybe God was trying to teach you something??

I will elaborate more when I have time.

great revelation littered with frustration

Good morning! I can still say that, it's not yet noon. However, that "good morning" sounds way too cheery! I am not that cheery this morning. I have this cloud following me today, it is big and nasty and won't go away. It is the perverbial "Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...." I feel like someone is telling me one thing and then 12 hours later changing the rules. I no longer get three strikes like I've had for the past 8 innings, I am only allowed two! Who said they could do that!!!!!!

On the lighter side, I walked 2 miles intead of just 1 this morning. That was fun, and it didn't even hurt that much!

grandkids are great

Got to be like a grandma Saturday, it was so much fun! Maranda, the girls older sister and her three kids, Josh (6), Kyra (4), and Kaylee (3) came to spend the weekend with us. It was nice, the kids took to Tim right away, started calling him Grandpa within a few minutes! I thought that was hillarious! Technically in a manner of speaking he is their grandpa, but it is a long story and I won't bore you with it! For myself I reall yenjoyed having the kids around. Can't wait until my own have their kids. Wtill praying for Michael and Jamie, they are still trying to get pregnant again. They have lost two pregnancies so far, Jamie has a kidney disorder that makes it hard for her to concieve. So, we keep praying!

Tim doesn't start his new job until the 26th now, I guess it's a good thing. Had to have his truck fixed again this weekend, another $400 dollars! Told Tim he needs to run his butt off to get some of the credit card paid down just in case we need to use it.

Well, gotta get back to work!
Later!