stuff i think: Your Money

If there is anyone out there that reads this...my blog....you have to go read this blog below! I am blown away by the love and the redemption that is going on at that site! Check it out and let me know how it moved you!

stuff i think: Your Money

still muddling through

Still muddling through my life...I am off to work. Great post over at Amanda's blog on "sinfully unique" things. Go ahead, check it out, you know you want to!!

burning the midnight oil

It is 1:39am and I am not used to being up right now. I am working...my night for the rotation when we have clients. This is one of those nights. 12-8. Not sure I can stay awake! I have already downed a 23 oz Mt Dew, I might have to make some coffee. At least I got a couple hours sleep before I had to come in. Poor Tim, he's at home with a sick grandbaby (she had 4 shots on Tuesday and she is cutting more teeth...her eye teeth.). The carpet cleaner is coming in the morning at 9am...then Addy has her 1 year check up at 10:30am. I was supposed to help Tim move the furniture out of the living room before we went to bed but that didn't happen as I had to get a couple hours sleep. Hopefully Grant will help him when he gets home if not we will do it in the morning when I get home. The good thing about all this is I get to take Wednesday or Friday off...not sure which day I will take yet. All I know is tommorow is shot. Cricket will have to come get the baby sooner than she wanted...but such is life. Well I better get to work or something!

TGIF

yes, thank God it's Friday! I am so glad for the weekend, now I will be able to hide the way I feel by being so busy with social stuff that I forget that I feel bad. How's that for therapy? Tim and I are going bike riding with some friends tomorrow morning...then home to mow the grass and work in the garden...then to the Rivera's for a hog roast. Sunday we are going to cincy for the WEBN fireworks right after church. We are going down to the river front, taking our bikes and going to ride around. I am watching Jaws right now, waitning for Tim to get home, was hoping Steven would call...I miss him. I ache for him and his struggles.

continuation of last post

So, I think I am on the verge of a melt down. As I just told a friend of mine...I wanna either eat myself into oblivion or sleep until I don't feel this way anymore. I don't know why I feel this way. There is really nothing specific that has sparked it...just the slow steady drip of my life. If it was one thing I would be actively working to fix it, change it or eliminate it. I'm not sure what to do.

I must not be a writer

I totally must not be a writer. It has been soooo long since I have even been to Blogger, you would think that there must not be anything to write about. Well, I have to say that is not the case. Lot's has been going on. It seems that I only blog when I am feeling down or overwhelmed. Like when you feel overwhelmed that's what you need...ONE more thing to do! It's probably because wehn I feel those things I should really be talking to a therapist or counselor or on some kind of medication, but I don't have any of those things. If this theory is true then in all actuality I am doing quite well...as I haven't blogged in over a year! Yes, I am feeling those things and i wish I was on some kind of med that made me feel better...but won't go to the Dr. because I am sure she will tell me I am crazy! (Which we all know I am!) Anywho...I will update on my kids because I don't know what to say about me.

Michael is still in Iraq, his wife Jamie and Ashlyn are still in Germany. He is due back to Germany in October...yeah! Ashlyn starts pre-school the first part of September, she is now 3. I would post pictures but I suck at that.

Cricket is expecting her 2nd child in March of 2009. She is attending school now, which I am totally proud of her for. Adryanna is now 1 and a handful. Tim and I thoroughly enjoy her! She and ronny are still not married...but together. Yes, you heard a little frustration in my writing about that.

Kyrie has begun her 2nd year at ISU. She loves school and is looking forward to teaching. Basje has not yet proposed to her...he is in his last year at OSU but he will be a graduate student after...so we speculate that he is waiting until he has a job and can support her. (Although they always talk about living on her salary to pay off their student loans with his salary)

Ashley is in her 2nd year of school also. She is anxious to be done with this 2 year degree so she and John can start a family. She so wants to be a mom! She is going to be a fabulous mother!

Steven is due to be released from Henryville in June of 2009. He is currently doing a rehab program there and is hoping for a three month time cut. He is doing wonderful...I have seen God do amazing things in his life since he has been incarcerated. He has grown up in ways that only God can do through circumstances like his. I am so proud to call him my son!

Chesiney is now a junior in high school. She is working and doing well. There is no boy in her life right now...she wishes there was!

Tim just bought a 1971 VW bug...much work needs to be done to it, but he assured me he would still drive it to work! It should be a cute little thing when he is done with it. (like we have the money to finish it anytime soon!) The basement is still in the works.

I am gearing up to work my postal job full time for a short time. The guy I sub for is retiring in October...but they won't post his job until March...so that means several months of good money! We are planning on paying off a bunch of credit cards...hopefully! Then maybe I won't have to go back to work except to sub for the new carrier. (you know, find another job to fill in)

so that is that at the Harness house. I might post about what is going on with me and my mental status sometime...or not!

Much to be thankful for this year

Well, I have much to be thankful for this year. No I have not fallen off the face of the earth, I forgot my login password for blogger and then asked to reset it and never got the email...turns out I was using a different email account. So, here I am almost a full year since my last post. Boy have things changed for me. I will start by giving you aquick run down of the kids lives

Michael...is in Iraq again, for the 3rd time while his wife and daughter Ashlyn are in Germany awaiting his return next year. Jamie and Ashlyn will be in the States for Christmas...YEAH!!

Cricket...is a new mommy as of August 23 at 6:31am. she had a little girl and named her Adryanna Rose. She is the best thing since sliced bread!! I thought I would be going through grandbaby withdrawl when Jamie and Ashlyn went to Germany, but Adryanna keeps me full to the brim with Grandma love!

Ashley...is a new wife to John. They live in Green Valley AZ, she absolutely loves being a wife and is a great bread maker!! They are comign out for Christmas this year! I realized as I spoke with her about their plans that I haven't spent a Christmas with her since she was about 3. I am so excited to share the Holiday with her!!

Kyrie...is currently enjoying her Freshman year at Indiana State, making wonderful grades of course! She is coming home Tuesday, boy do I miss her!

Steven...well, he is awaiting a new plea bargin from the prosecutor. Sadly he will be spending the Holidays in county jail. I miss him, but know that God has His purpose for Stevens life and he is right where he needs to be for now.

Chesiney...is basking in the attention from her first boyfriend experience. While she is pursuing that relationship she is coping with the usual teen drama of a 16 year olds life!

Tim and I are doing wonderful, trying to prepare ourselves for the inevitable "empty nest". We are selling the house (at least trying to) and working alot.

***WARNING***

This post is boring and mundane. There is nothing new in my life that I can post about right now. So, I am going to print out pictures of my kids and grand daughter for my picture frame that I got for Christmas. Have a happy new year if I don't blog before then!

Almost the End of the Year

It feels like it was just 2000! Now it is going to be 2007....will this be the year that Christ returns? How exciting to think it could be!

Kyrie is on her way to the One Thing conference in KC.
Michael, Jamie and Ashlyn should be traveling home from Tucson today
Steven is frustrated with his truck and his life I think...that is a good thing...means God is pushing his buttons!
Cricket....well, hopefully will be able share more on her later
Ashley got engaged on Christmas Eve!!!!
Chesiney is loving the fact that she turns 16 in about a week!
Tim is working hard
I am wrapping up my last couple weeks at Hill-Rom to start at the Post Office
Ashlyn will be staying with us soon!!

Wow, it's been that long since I last posted??

Not that anyone ever reads this thing....except my daughter Chesiney...thanks honey!

Well, alot has happened since August. Much more than I want to get detailed about so I will give you the short version.

Started working at Hill-Rom
Girls went back to school
Kyrie turned 18
Michael turned 22
Steven went AWOL
Steven went missing for 34 days
Steven moved home
Got surprise phone call from my ex
Got to keep Ashlyn for a week
Got news Michael and Jamie were going to Germany
Got hired by the post office
Michael thought of me and bought me an old beater car for subbing on mail routes
Chesiney is playing club volleyball :0)
Kyrie has been accepted to two universities so far...still waiting on ISU
Almost done with Christmas shopping
get to keep Ashlyn again for a week in January
Got hired by my local battered women's shelter as an advocate...that is a totallly God's doing
I love my job and the people I work with at Hill-Rom, will miss them when I go

So that is the last 4 months in short order. Any questions.....leave a comment and $25 question fee and I will get back to you!

Welcome home son!

Michael arrived safely...we were all glad to see him home. They are such a cute fam! 

 

Another day, another step closer

so along time ago i talked about having a house that was like a commune, not the wierd Charles Manson type, but the "living life together" kind of home. well, now we have one more body in our home. Cricket came home a couple weeks ago, and then today Daniel moved into our basement. He is affraid of spiders, so the basement might be a challenge for him, but it is the only space we have left.

Jesus..

So this morning REALLY sucked. Long story short...Tim is angry at me. See, we got up relatively early to register Chess at school and take Cricket to work. We had to drive seperately b/c he had an appointment at 9. He thought Cricket was riding with him, she came with me b/c I was out the door first. He called me and was a little miffed that Cricket went with me, he said "I thought I was taking her?" Hummm....funny, we didn't have a conversation about that before we left the house. So we go through the registration process and when we get home he asks me if I am agrivated with him, I said no. I don't know what he went off to do, but I came down to get on the computer b/c I wanted to get some things done before I had to take Katie to work. I am sitting here changing my desktop picture back to one of Ashlyn b/c Chesiney had changed it to a picture of Jeremy Camp. Tim comes up behind me and says "Wanna see something funny? Go to my email." So I obediently got o his hotmail account and he proceeds to get a chair to sit next to me. So we are in his mailbox and he says "I guess he didn't send it to me. Nevermind." The mouse goes over an email from Ruthie that I had already read cause she sent it to me too and he asks me to click on it, so I do. I sit there for a moment and then get up and say "I will let you read your mail, let me know when you are done." I am about half way up the stairs and he totally goes balistic. He yells " I am gonna through this computer out the window!!!" Storms past me up the stairs and I yells "I'm going to work!" and I say "Aren't you kind of blowing this out fo porportion?" He storms out of the house, slamming the door and peeling out in the driveway.

We have had this conversation before about the fact that I don't enjoy reading his email with him. Why does he continue to think I wanna sit there and read them with him? I was frustrated, yes. But I didn't say anything in a sarcastic way. I don't understand what I did.

Grandma's baby girl

I have mixed feeling today. Jamie called yesterday to tell us that Mike got orders for Germany. Yes, he is coming home still this month from Iraq, but in February they have to be in Germany. That is so far away. It is a great opportunity, but oh so far a way! I guess we will have to save for a trip over there. I guess it is time to start looking into getting our passports! 

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.....

Man this week went by so fast. As I sit and watch the lightning out my window I realize that this week went lightning fast. Did I do all that I was supposed to do this week? (NO) Was I lazy for most of the week? (YES)Did I do all that I could to find employment? (PROBABLY NOT) Did I spend time with the Lord since I am not working? (NO) Did I commit to going to the Y now that I don't have the excuse of having to work? (NO) Oh how much time I waste! As much as I crabbed about not having enought ime to do anything while I was working, you would think I would have been commited to using my time more wisely since I have been unemployed.

I am finding myself frustrated with the new dog, Lily. They said she was house trained and she is not. She has discoverd chewing on anything and everything. Chesiney seems to not be able to handle the responsibility of taking care of her. Why do I feel like it is my responsibility? B/C I am the only one who thinks about it!!!!! I swear the rest of the family thinks she can take care of herself, like let herself outside when she has to go, pour her own dog food, fill her water bowl, clean up after herself when she decides to chew one of my shoes. Maybe we should have gotten an older dog. She is almost a year old, that is still pretty young. I don't know, I am jsut venting.

I am feeling a bit discouraged right now. Every single one of the places I have submitted my resume to has shot me down. One place hasn't given me an answer yet, shoudl know something next week. Yeah, not feeling good enough for anything right now. Probably due to the fact that I haven't been spending enough time with God and in His Word.

Well, I am going to go work on somethings.

Ashlyn birthday pictures

Look everyone, I'm walking!










I think I like this cupcake..... 

Happy Birthday Kathy Jo!

Today is my sister's birthday. Today I salute her. She was there for me when I needed her. When I was growing up she was there to keep my brother from tormenting me too much. I love her dearly, I wish we were closer in distance, I miss having her close. But I love her deeply!

Happy Birthday Kathy!

objects in mirror seem closer than they appear

Well, in the last thirty days I have quit two jobs. No I am not proud of that fact, it is just that FACT. I left Legacy to go to the new Inn that was starting here. I went, then left. Not a place I wanted to work with that type of leadership or direction. So I am now looking for work. Have a few choices, but they don't seem interested in me just yet. Pray something comes soon, Tim is getting abit antsy.

Cricket has moved back in. Not really fond of that, but it is what it is. I sincerely want my attitude to change. Pray that God does something in my heart toward her. Her moving back has made our friend who is living with us very jittery. She wants to move out. I don't want her to. She thinks it will be too crowded and she is in Cricket's old room, so therefore she should move out. I say no, she says yes. Don't get me wrong, I love Cricket just as much as Tim, but she is 20 years old and needs to be on her own. She tried to live with her mom, she tried to live with Tim's sister, I know she would rather be anywhere else than at our house. Her work ethic leaves lots to be desired. She has made some not so good choices that have landed her here with no car, no money and no job. I resent having to support her at 20 years old. Is this wrong????? Am I the evil step mom for feeling this way????? Probably, but I can't change the resentment, I am waiting for God to do it in me. Meanwhile, I am keeping my mouth shut so as not to tick off my husband. I don't bite my tongue well enough. Lord help me. I mean that literally, as my prayer for this night.

Michael comes home in a couple of weeks. Hwo happy that I am he will be out of the middle east.

Well, I am going to go to bed I think. I think I am tired, or maybe it is just a little depression. I will post pictures soon of our new dog, her name is Lilly. I am frustrated with her right now too. She is having a hard time adjusting to our home I guess, we KEEP having potty issues EVERY SINGLE DAY! I am tired of cleaning up after her. Oh how I hate puppies! Although she is nto a puppy, she is 10 months old.

Anywhoooo....later taters!

The End

Today is my last day here at Legacy. My office is cleaned out, my desk is empty and my computer scrubbed clean of my personal files. It is good. Don't get me wrong, I loved working here, loved the people that have come and gone, done a lot of growing personally, spiritually and professionally. I wouldn't trade the time I have had here for anything.

Now I am on to something new, something that excites me! It is good to feel excitement about the work that you do.

Later